5 Times Your Friends Proved That They Are The Best Social Media Stalkers
By Jessica Faulkner
We all have that one friend who could work for the FBI with her social media stalking skills. This tech-savvy friend can troll social media for 2 minutes and find more detailed information than wikipedia.
Some of us are better than others at digging up the details. These days you don’t need to be a secret service agent to get the information you want within seconds, but some people just have an undeniable talent for research.
Your office crush is single
Trolling online can help avoid any unwanted relationships blunders. While it’s a slippery slope to date someone you work with, you may want to know a little more about the person’s after hours routine, before you make your work boyfriend a reality. This is the part where your friend casually pulls out her laptop and quickly begins the search. Before you can finish pouring the first glass of wine, she tells you that this dude has a live in girlfriend who is an avid floral DIY’er and they share a dog named, Red. Really?!?
It’s always very interesting to me how many guys say that they are single, when they are actually moonlighting as ‘Boyfriend of the Year’.
Can’t remember the name of a cute guy you met at a party
You may not remember the name of the super hot guy you met last night, but there are plenty of ways to find them. Apparently, your friend is are well aware of Facebook’s Graph Search that allows people to search using natural language. So, you casually tell your friend that they work at X company, and wallah, you now have the means to make direct contact…if you are into that sort of thing.
A guy you date is with another girl at the bar
It’s Friday night. You and your friends are out at your local bar having a casual drink with friends. Suddenly, you see the guy you have been dating with another, much sluttier girl. Without making a scene, you casually take turns watching the scene unfold, as your BFF is already 3 months deep in the girls selfie-centered Instagram profile. While they become too “involved” to notice the gaggle of girls watching them, you decide to change locations and delete, delete, delete. BYE!
Your ex has a new GF
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that the girl in the photos on your ex’s Facebook wall is his new love interest. But, leave it to your friend to become the most awe-inspiring investigatory investigator. While you shake your head in disbelief (as she is nothing close to as smart/funny/cool/adventurous as you are) your friend has already created an excel spreadsheet listing the reasons you are no longer together and why they are better for each other. All of this information is based on her combined research of Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat, of course.
Your gay-be daddy says he’s “staying in” for the night
Oh no she didn’t. You guys made plans earlier in the week to hang out, but suddenly they just want to stay in for the night. No biggie. You invite a friend over to watch a movie while you are simultaneously watching your phone. Suddenly, you hear a gasp from the other side of the couch. No way! It’s your gay-be daddy dancing at The Abbey with Pierre! WTF! So much for keeping it low key. 😉